Fate has sent me everything I’ve ever wished for in one year — the publication of my first book and twin boys. Two months after giving birth, [House of Anansi President and Publisher] Sarah MacLachlan asked me to accompany her to an IFAO luncheon of esteemed agents and publishers from around the globe. It was my first time out in the world. I sausaged my bloated legs into camel-coloured nylons. My wrap-around skirt graciously expanded to reveal a dangerously high slit up the front. We sat at large round tables and I was so excited I didn’t touch my food (except, of course, dessert). One of the women glanced at my nametag, leaned across the table and said, “What if you win the Booker?”

“Funny you should mention that,” I said. “Eleanor Wachtel always asks me that in the interview . . . the one I’ve been having with her in my head for the past two decades.”

I wasn’t kidding. I started getting published at age 16 and over the years, even when I wasn’t writing, I continued the interview. Sarah, who was seated beside me, said, “Oh, Eleanor Wachtel is sitting right over there. Do you want me to introduce you to her?”

“NO!” I snapped. The book, the twins . . . meeting her would be the tipping point. Anyway, I’ve said everything I could possibly say to her already.

As for the Booker prize question, when Eleanor asks I’m ready: “If I don’t win, I’m doing my next book as Julie Giller.”

Follow Julie on Twitter @juliebooker.

Thanks to Julie Booker for this hilarious guest post! Julie’s debut collection of short stories, Up Up Up, will be available in bookstores across Canada on April 16th, 2011. Please join us for the book launch at the Toronto Women’s Bookstore on April 16 from 3:00-5:00 p.m.